ADOPTION - SIBLING RIVALRY

We know that older children should be prepared for the arrival of new children to avoid feelings of jealousy and sibling rivalry in the children and so that they don’t feel left out. Similarly, parents who have their biological children and like to adopt a second child need to prepare their children for adoption beforehand. It is important to include them in decision making process for adoption, help them to befriend the new addition to the family and make it clear to them that, whether adopted or not, all siblings deserve the same love and respect from the parents and all the other family members and that they should try to be a good big brother or sister to them.

Many a times there are typical and intense sibling squabbles that may sometimes turn into hideous natural vs. adoptive children competitions. Natural children claim to have more favors from you or expect closer bonds with you because of their genetic ties to the parents and adoptive children look up to their parents, watching closely for their reactions and feel scarred if you scold them. This is an extremely difficult situation for the parents to handle. Siblings by birth or adoption can become a big issue in children’s lives and cause rifts between them. The only refuge can be to make your natural children understand that this is not an issue to ever bring up with your adoptive children and to make adoptive children understand that they hold a special place in your lives and that is why you brought them home in the first place.